Water Wars
One of the advantages of having taught at several different colleges over the past few years is that I got to see how colleges that may seem very alike are in fact very different in terms of their attitudes towards many social and political issues. Some have very strong and truly diverse culture of open dialogue and genuine inquiry in various topics (Wabash), some are more or less apathetic (Rhodes), and some are what has unfortunately become more or less a norm of what one thinks of colleges these days: not so much centers of learning and pursuit of truth, but rather training grounds for various loony-left activists (DePauw). As an example of these differences I take look at what on the surface of it would be the most bland and uncontroversial subject: water. More precisely, bottled water. As the image above suggests Rhodes has been a bit entrepreneurial in this department and has come up with its own brand of bottled water. In my opinion it's a smart move, it helps college raise money and it promotes its brand in a very inexpensive and efficient manner. On the other hand DePauw has recently been engulfed in an attempt by the student senate (and some faculty members) to ban bottled water altogether. Yup, that's right; it seems that bottled water is one of the most dangerous substances on college campuses. It is single-handedly destroying the Earth. Fortunately, as soon as it is banned we can expect the Earth to start healing itself, oceans to stop rising and the human race to live in harmony with nature once again. Except that the initiative doesn't go far enough. DePauw should go a step further and ban indoor plumbing as well. Only then will they truly signal that they are serious about the environment.
Coincidentally, DePauw is struggling under a burden of enormous debt that was incurred in large part by funding a lot of worthy forward-thinking causes. It's reassuring to know that they have taken a hard look at their spending habits and have learned from past mistakes. Unfortunately Rhodes has not been equally blessed with debt and will probably continue to operate with profit. Which will partly come from selling their water. Greedy, greedy Rhodes. Shame on them.